Gamescom 2014 Fallout
"5 strong announcements. stuff like infamous vita, god of war vita 2 to 3 surprises. Gamescom is good for vita." - ServantOfErieos setting up himself for massive disappointment The Sony Defense Force is always certain that the next big event (E3/Gamescom/TGS) will save the Vita and shut up all the doubters. As soon as the Vita board's resident fanboys recovered from how the Vita was ignored at E3, they will start to hype up Gamescom as the savior of the Vita. 2014 was no different, and with the Vita already having very little life left in the West, the fanboys were louder than ever. Specifically ServantOfErieos and MarkThePhoenix had extra shifts in their pony schedules to raise their expectations as high as possible and convince everyone that the Vita is entering "BEAST MODE!". The actual event was devastating for the Vita fanbase. The Vita got absolutely no new games or localizations at all aside from one or two indie ports mentioned by the way. Instead, Tearaway was announced to be ported to the PS4, effectively setting the result to '-1' new exclusives for the Vita. Aside from being a complete catastrophe to the fanboys, this was also a huge shock to all the regulars and other reasonable posters on the Vita board as most of them thought they would be immune to disappointment if they're expecting 0 new games for the Vita. The fact it's possible to be disappointed by Sony even when expecting absolutely nothing outraged every fan of the system, resulting in lots of traffic as a lot of users made dozens of topics full of mocking, trolling, flaming and ridiculing the Vita, Sony and Servant. Pre-Show Hype This time around, the fanboys made sure that everyone on the board was onboard the hype train. 6 days before the event, Servant posted a topic titled "SONY to REVIVE BEAST MODE?!??" in which he was going all in for that hype, using phrases such as "My HEART is BEATING FAST, yo". Two days later, Mark chimed in with another topic titled "Vita just hit a new beast mode", and by then the hype was so big already that a normal user made another "Beast Mode" topic the same day. The day before Gamescom, a topic was made called "Gamescom 2014: HOW READY ARE YOU??", containing a poll where the most popular answer was "10 - BEAST MODE", clearly showing that the hype has hit. Unfortunately for him, Mark was put in Warned status due to a meltdown he had that day and was therefore leashed by the 10 posts per day and 3 posts per hour limits, meaning that he immediately had 0 posts left for the day and only very few posts for the event, leaving Servant alone on the job. A few hours before the event started, Servant put all his effort into starting a Gamescom topic that is as ostentatious and dramatic as possible: 2014 as a roman numeral in the title, the topic starting with "The TEARS, The TENSION, The HYPE, The DRAMA...", lots of stream links, horribly abused cite tags, timezones converted for all around the globe with a final "LET'S GO HYPE!". It was very clear that this was the day that Servant has been waiting for all year in his basement. After all this agony, trolling and evil users that don't kiss Sony's feet, Sony would finally open the flood gates and announce a wide array of AAA titles that would make Nintendo go bankrupt and crown the Vita as the ultimate gaming device until the end of all time! The Fallout Reality looked different, however. Not only did the Vita not get any new games, it was hardly even mentioned at all. To the contrary, it actually lost one "AAA exclusive" as Tearaway was announced to go to the PS4. Not that Tearaway was a big title to begin with, only selling about 14'000 copies in its first month in NA and going completely unnoticed in Japan, but it was nevertheless one of the only physical exclusives that the Vita got in the West, and thus it was a "GOTY" for any Vita fanboy. As a result, this announcement struck Servant like a knife rammed into his back, on top of reality hitting him like a brick yet again: the sad realization that the Vita is not getting "saved" this Gamescom, just like it wasn't saved before and isn't going to get saved ever after. This brutal hit turned all the hype into anger, ridicule and drama. Understandably, ServantOfErieos and his pompous topic were the center of the attention, where Servant would get ridiculed and trashed by seemingly most users on the board at once. Only one drone was pathetic enough to defend Servant and was moderated for having a meltdown. The topic carried on to over 200 posts of people laughing at Servant who tried to stay calm, but lost his temper on more than one occasion. Sometimes, posters were asking questions such as how Servant is still alive after taking so much damage. It didn't stop there, though. The entire Vita board turned into one huge rampage where everyone complained about Sony's neglecting of the Vita or made jokes about it. The regular have outdone themselves with puns about the horrid presentation, the failed "Beast Mode" and the -1 exclusives total. Meanwhile, Servant just stood there, trying to damage control the mess by telling people to calm down and pretending that he is actually happy with the conference. Lots of topics and polls about the Vita's death have been made. Joke polls have been made, asking people to rate the conference out of 100, but only allowing options from 0 to 10. Another poll asked users to rate the conference from -1 to 10, with -1 getting the most votes. Comparisons to the Dreamcast and other famous failures have arisen. The E.T. landfill in Mexico has been mentioned on more than one occasion. Corporate spins made by the fanboys over the years and by Sony themselves have repeatedly been made fun of and jokes on the Vita were generally much harder to the point where otherwise moddable jokes were not out of place anymore. Shahid's Meltdown Shahid, who has already been infamous for keeping the Vita on life support with huge amounts of indies, attempted to perform Damage Control to mitigate the impact of this disastrous conference. As always, he did so from his Twitter account, where he is famous for aggressively hyping up indies, doing the corporate spin and beg indie developers to release their games on the Vita. However, even Shahid was struggling with this uproar. Throwing some more indie announcements at the mob did little good. Lots of his tweets were posted on the Vita board, where they were generally met with much ridicule. Some examples: Shahid Kamal Ahmad @shahidkamal My team alone is helping being so many great games to Vita that we’re hiring. Shahid Kamal Ahmad @shahidkamal If there are no games coming to Vita, then I might as well not go to work tomorrow. ;-) Shahid Kamal Ahmad @shahidkamal The Vita has no games. LMAO :) Shahid Kamal Ahmad @shahidkamal Fair warning: anyone who hasn’t armed themselves with the facts and uses the term “indie ports” in a derogatory way gets blocked. @shahidkamal: Just in case it wasn’t clear, Papers Please is coming to Vita. @shahidkamal: @Imafia97 I am part of the company. So we have not “abandoned” it. New games every month. @shahidkamal: Pix the Cat (addictive as erm…an addictive thing) to come to Vita. @shahidkamal: When I’m back in the office tomorrow, I’ll remind you of the many others. Like ASSAULT ANDROID CACTUS (GOD YES!) Generally, Shahid's nature of hyping up every insignificant indie title and treating it like the best thing to ever happen was very poorly received during this fiasco. His sarcastic "The Vita has no games. LMAO :)" was used in jokes saying that even Shahid admits that the Vita has no games. His threat to skip work the next day was also rather unimpressive, and so was his announcement of yet another indie game. People have also made jokes about his threat to block everyone who complains about "indie ports", claiming that this obviously proves that situation has gone out of hand. Furthermore, people tire of Shahid's constant tweets about the "megatons of games" that he is making, when in truth the userbase is starved for games and all that keeps trickling in are ports of indies that can be gotten somewhere else for much cheaper. Memorable Topics Thanks to you fans, Shahid is now having a meltdown (deleted) @shahidkamal: @Imafia97 I am part of the company. So we have not “abandoned” it. New games every month. Terotrous: I imagine Shahid probably eats lunch alone every day. And sometimes the PS4 team steals his lunch. @shahidkamal: Velocity 2X to come on Vita. (Likely to be rated by some as Vita’s greatest title) BossBang: Oooh... I really wish he hasn't said that. :( alexg1989: He's just saying what Sony wants him to say... Ooseye: So Sony wanted him to parade around with chest puffed out acting like he brought Type-0 to the Vita? Riiiight. alexg1989: that never happened. that was just people misunderstanding the tweet.. shahid never took credit for that. Ooseye: Obviously I was speaking in hyperbole but the implication was painfully clear. alexg1989: the implication was in your imagination.... Ooseye: And in Shahids obviously. Just ordered my vita, any tips? Necoji: Just ordered my vita, any tips? Kconv: learn to love indies? Sorry its been a rough day here. Megaman Omega: Buy all the great exclusives while they're still exclusive. HermeticJustice: lower expectations somewhere between non-existent and not existing Shahid: "Paper Please is coming to Vita" @shahidkamal: Just in case it wasn’t clear, Papers Please is coming to Vita. Village Idiot: Oh wow, a game you could have played months ago on the PC -_- shag777: Another s****y indie, i suppose. thanthen: How does he still have a job. inFAMOUSJakey: Luckily, this IS his job Sonytendo: Yes Sony talking about the Vita! Vita saved! gamecube101: Phew, another indie port. For a second there I was worried about the vita. Jobocan: I don't know who Shahid is but I don't think I like him. Ooseye: Are you a Vita fanboy? If not, you're won't like him. Megaman Omega: You might think you're living under a rock, but, let me tell you, it's a rock worth living under. - AVGN DeliFlatChest: Oh my god lmao Fact: Indies on Vita aren't ports @shahidkamal: Fair warning: anyone who hasn’t armed themselves with the facts and uses the term “indie ports” in a derogatory way gets blocked. FarMaster2008: Shahid is just damaging controlling. It's part of his job. Ooseye: Corporate damage control has never looked so much like a hissy fit. SONY: Just SCREW YOU VITA OWNERS! Terrorknight3: So did I make the right choice in choosing a 2DS? darkphiresage: no. it's the only handheld that looks like a piece of toast. Ooseye: Agreed. He should of gone with the system that looks like a PS4 accessory. MMaestro: Hey! Don't insult PS4 accessories! DeliFlatChest: LMAO Trupp88: What's a PlayStation Vita??? ReretReretovic: The Dreamcast of handhelds. Megaman Omega: A miserable little pile of remote play! DeliFlatChest: But enough talk. Have a PS4! RiFoThAs: Oh you guys :> Shadofxd2: do they not even refer to it as the remote play machine anymore? Megaman Omega: I think it has been demoted from "Remote Play Machine" to "Salvaging for more PS4 games" Kconv: Landfill machine Contrary to popular belief, these last months are amazing for new Vita owners. ServantOfErieos: indeed Vita's been on a roll lately Ooseye: Yes it has. Downhill. Into a ditch. FarMaster2008: ditch filled with dreamcasts and sega saturns ServantOfErieos: Thats funny cause when something's rolling downhill, it's gathering momentum. #destroyed Ooseye: You're right, it's momentum is propelling it into the ditch at record speeds. Megaman Omega: Watch your purdy mouth, or else the Vita will roll over you with all this momentum. :o) Ooseye: So those reoccurring dreams of that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark were a premonition?!? Megaman Omega: Of course. Unfortunately, there's only one destination for a system with ever-increasing downwards momentum. Ooseye: Just to clarify, we are talking about that dump where they buried all those ET games right? Megaman Omega: So that's why they recently dug up that dump the other day! They needed to make sure there was enough space left for another colossal failure! Ooseye: Damn, cold blooded man, cold blooded. 100% correct, but cold blooded nonetheless. lol ServantOfErieos: depending on how you look at things, the Vita is taking off. Ooseye: Yeah... if you're on your back looking into the ditch upside-down while on nitrous oxide it probably does look like a phoenix rising to the stars against all hope. Megaman Omega: I know of a certain phoenix-type poster that won't be rising anywhere today, lol. ServantOfErieos: ok alt. i lowered my expectations to the max this gamescom. V-Angelus2936: Still got disappointed. Looks like im just gonna have to not expect anything at all to avoid disappointments. The f*** is wrong with Sony. LemonKewwnstaaa: The trick is to expect bad things. Then its pretty much impossible to "lose". V-Angelus2936: Im looking at my vita and i see a sad puppy. But i still hug him because he's my puppy. But holy crap theyre not supporting my puppy ServantOfErieos: If you think negative thoughts, you breathe life to negative things. you are what you think. GigaDogqHD: So you think positive when you get kicked in the nuts? V-Angelus2936: We even lost an exclusive. Dats not just a kick in the nuts. Thats a sledge hammer to the nuts ServantOfErieos: Trick is to think thoughts that won't even put you in a place to be hurt or abused in the first place. Quote from ServantOfErieos, a few hours ago in another topic: 5 strong announcements. stuff like infamous vita, god of war vita 2 to 3 surprises. Gamescom is good for vita. Megaman Omega: I'm glad that worked out for you. ;) FarMaster2008: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ServantOfErieos: Trick is to think thoughts that won't even put you in a place to be hurt or abused in the first place. Ooseye: Someones been raiding the anti-depressants cabinet I see. Megaman Omega: Of course. He now gets bulk discount on anti-depressants, tranquilizers and Ritalin, so he might as well use them in dire times like that. On a scale from 1-100, 100 being the highest, how would you rate this Gamescom? The topic contains a poll, where the poll options are 0 though 10. LemonKweenstaaa: 11-100 is missing. Megaman Omega quotes the above post, fixes it to: ''-1'' is missing. So... how bout that gamescom? yomomma0919: I can't watch it till I get home. Was there really nothing for the vita? inFAMOUSJakey: -1 yomomma0919: that bad huh? I feel bad for the people who actually thought that there would be announcments sentoworf: Vita lost an exclusive GigaDogqHD: Great news! VITA TV and Tearaway 2! Whoop whoop!!! BEAST MODE yomamma0919: Awesome!! A item to make vita more worthless and we lost an exclusive!! shag777: Beast mode my ass. Wait... they just ended the show... soapman72: ...Shahid.... ar4757: was not there looks like the poll was right! we got a negative amount of games bye tearaway 2 soapman72: Literally I'm laughing right now this is such a joke lol...they should have had someone just go on stage and moon us for the vita presentation inFAMOUSJakey: I am surprised they didn't spent a single minute with Vita shag777: But...but...WHERE THE F*** IS THE VITA???? soapman72: Lol wheres that game shahid lol Saienu: Did they even mention the Vita in passing? Megaman Omega: It passed away, but they didn't mention it. Should i get my hopes up for Gamescom? Compass: '''Depends on what you're getting your hopes up for? If it's another legendary ServantOfSony breakdown, I'd say yes. Yes, you should. '''FarMaster2008: So should I just have low expectations? Deimos259: Yes Zezrs: Wait for E3. Ooseye quotes and fixes the above post: Wait for E3 '16. FarMaster2008: For Sony to announce the funeral for my beloved PS Vita? :( ServantOfErieos: I'm going to believe. Sony Europe likes VITA. Kazuhira07: Go below your lowest expectations. ServantOfErieos: '''Gaddamn, people, why is everyone so down ? Sony just gave us high metacritic games like metrico and FEZ. Did they not promise games? '''Megaman Omega: Yeah, Gamecom is totally going to get loads of games on the Vita! Oh wait... Ashryoshka: inb4sonygaveuponvita Ooseye: You can't inb4 something that already happened. Gamescom 2014: HOW READY ARE YOU?? A poll with option 1 through 10 with a short description, ten being "10 - BEAST MODE" and also having the most votes Phloyd456: I am looking forward to the disappointment. Shadowfxd2: and you'll still be more disappointed. Megaman Omega: Beast mode indeed. What kind of "beast" are we talking about? A narcoleptic sloth? lol. Oh well. Time to wait for TGS, then. Kconv: Well that didnt last! Gamescom mania MMXIV - still THE Greatest Show on earth? Discussion Thread ServantOfErieos: This is the platform for sony to announce Gran Turismo on the Vita. I can see it happening, Make it happen, sony. Buretsu: Shouldn't this be on the PS4 board? Phloyd456: Get ready for the disappointment. Gallusz: Watch as the vita gets nothing again Phloyd456: We all knew this before the conference, why didn't anyone else? Megaman Omega: That's right, we all knew it. All of us that aren't completely insane, that is. Servan was expecting 5+ games like "infamous Vita", i can't wait for the meltdown. StrikeNinja24: And now they are porting Tearaway to the PS4. Gallusz: Lol. Tearaway lost faith in vita. ABWildC: Countdown to meltdowns Beetey: Great. Not even Tearaway is a Vita exclusive anymore... hustlin_pimpste: Dear Vita, You suck and I am off to a better system. Up yours, Messenger from Tearaway. ServantOfErieos: OMG xbots raiding twotch chat. wtf ITS NOT CASUAL StrikeNinja24: Meltdown has already commenced. ABWildC: Day Type-0 and now this. Poor Servant LemonKweenstaaa: Servant, what are your thoughts on this Tearaway news? Gallusz: Servant is hiding in a corner ready to bawl out. alexg1989: Vita is dead, wrap it up folks. mods can close the whole board now... we didn't even get a goddamned port... ServantOfErieos: Oh look, its not over. hustlin_pimpste: ? Seems it is to me. Megaman Omega: Servant is entering a fanboy shock! Quick, get the oxygen masks, he is already delirious! ServantOFerieos: ********* HELL PEOPLE ITS NOT OVER they are showing new trailers and games Shibby_123: #RIPvita should become a trend. Sonytendo: #RIPInPeaceVita Ooseye: Brutal, absolutely brutal. Sony is the #1 Vita troll confirmed. How many big, Vita-exclusive announcements do you expect to see during Gamescom? The poll options are 0 through 4, 5+ and hilariously, "Negative number, Gravity Rush/Freedom Wars/Oreshika/Tearaway/Uncharted GA etc. will be announced for PS4". "0" had the most votes, followed by "negative number". shag777: 0 or 1,at best. Phloyd456: 0. I don't count indies. Garage_Man: Negative fo sho. With FF0 going to PS4 I expect like Dissidia to be a xbox exclusive or something. I have as much faith in the Vita as the PS4 at this point. ServantOfErieos: 5 strong announcements. stuff like infamous vita, god of war vita 2 to 3 surprises. Gamescom is good for vita. Category:Events